so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I deserve this hangover.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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