This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
