if you like me you must not know who I am
there's paper in my vomit.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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