Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
