Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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