Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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