I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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