I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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