Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
