they need to just BURY HIM!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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