he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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