I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
