the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
