Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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