Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
