It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
