Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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