and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
