You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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