help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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