Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
