so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
