i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
