do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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