ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
