U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
