seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
