dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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