I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Welp...herpes.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
