Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
