that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
