End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Actions speak louder than pants.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize