Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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