whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
