FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I think my moral compass just broke
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
