Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize