i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
