I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
