Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
