This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
