Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
