I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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