Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
