i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
