I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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