just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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