This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize