I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
