There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
