:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
