I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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