So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
my sisters under your porch take her home
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
