I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I had to cum in my sink.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
