remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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