Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
