what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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