Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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