he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
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