Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just cropdusted the office
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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