i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize