apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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