In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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