sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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