I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
