So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
they're like a gay fantastic four
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i believe in u and ur pee
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
