That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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